Thursday, March 17, 2016

Falling

Sometimes it gets so hard to breathe.

When you feel like your entire world has fallen apart. When the pieces that you built painstakingly collapses because of your own ineptitude. When you feel like you have failed the expectations of the very people you were striving for. 

It's almost imperceptible - that sudden rush of guilt that floods your heart. One minute you find a wee bit of relief and insouciance, the next you're giddy and sick. 

You listen to the speeches of those you love. You hear the melancholy in their voices. You long for a middle ground. You seek freedom, but feel bound. You are stuck in a rut and nobody can rescue you. You are your own savior. 

Yet. 

You have no more strength. Your energy is drained. The bed is your solace. Tears are your comfort. 

You seek that once-familiar emotion. That thing called happiness. You think you can feel it again - that one brief moment. But all too soon. It's gone. 

You know they love you. But you can't pick yourself up from that pit of despair that you had unintentionally plunged into. 

Falling. 

And falling.